lists.

I might have to fly out to the Philippines on Sunday. More family trouble. But I'm OK..and everything else will be too. Whether or not I go depends on what my boss has to say. I already know that the people at my gym job are gonna hate me..but I don't know what else I can do. Life happens. Mew. Tomorrow I'm just gonna wake up early and try to get as much done as I can before work. Abs class...quick run...then city hall. La-di-daaa. We'll see. Hopefully I get everything done.


Ah. So today I got sick of editing GAP photos...so I revisited an older shoot.

Model: Jenny Ma

a new set of balls.

bigger ones.

better ones.

that's what it feels like i've got. ok. not literally. but i feel better about things. less scared. and i feel good. i just want to get better! create! =] and it seems like i'm still breathing, so i definitely have time to do those things.



other things on my mind? yep. im such a guy. =]

Fear Eats the Soul

I'm terrified.

Constantly terrified of failure. I feel so crazy sometimes. I'm so obsessed with this possible future...this career...that everything else blurs into the background. I wonder about my difficulty to interact normally at work. I'm comfortable with any social situation that doesn't pertain to my profession. When it does, I suddenly become introverted and only want to bury my head in my projects. Which I suppose isn't necessarily a bad thing...but it's becoming increasingly hard for me to carry out a normal conversation. All of a sudden my words feel forced, unsure... frightened! I am so intimidated by these people! I can do it! I know I can! >_< But I'm so fucking scared! I need some balls! WTF, kid!?!? ::punches self:: If you have a spare pair, please donate it to the "Kina-needs-to-stop-being-a-damn-pansy-ass" Fund.






Listening: MGMT - Kids
yay! my happy song! >=O

YES

That's what everything and everyone seems to be saying. I'm enjoying myself far too much to question this run of events. All I have to say is :o fuck yeah. Hell to the fucking yeah >=D.

I'm editing a lot of old pics that I owe to my test shot kiddies and random shoots. I got a commercial gig which could possibly lead to an internship. We'll see. Let's see how far this "yes" momentum goes =}.

:)

I may not stop smiling for days.

It's been so long since I was able to have a physical AND emotional connection with someone. It felt amazing. :) And I am grateful.

running.

Tina: "Have you two hooked up yet??"

Me: ((~_~ wtf.)) ..




I got too comfortable. Didn't keep up my pace. Fixing that today and tomorrow. AND THEN I'M FUCKING FREE.

o.o;

wow. talk about karma.

i didn't think i'd see her again. o_o and not in the way that i did. weird.

:o

Wish I didn't feel this way.

sad.

I know it's been gone for a while anyways..

sad.

Time to preoccupy myself.

happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgBeu3FVi60

this keeps me moving. :)

I..am...so...hungry.

I want sleep. i want food. i'm done printing. fuck. yeah.


Models: Corey + Jeff B.

hehe..naked. heh.